Extremely important developments for all of us.

11:15am Genoa 9 March 2008

I picked a good day to stay in and do my laundry. It’s raining outside, it’s cold, and the sky is that shade of slate grey I thought I might never see again after I left Chicago. If I had a good reason to go out, it’s just the kind of day I would (perversely?) enjoy going out in, knowing it would be quiet and calm outside, and it would make coming home to a warm apartment all the sweeter. But since I was out of clean socks, it seemed the opportune thing to do to keep inside.

As it turns out, my laundry goals are going to need to be revised downward. Initially I campaigned on a promise of clean, dry clothes for all. Then, I became familiar with the machinery and established interests involved, so I decided I could satisfy my constituents (I have only one – I’m lucky in that regard) with clean, damp clothes. After long experience struggling against entrenched special interests, I have given up (sold out?) and am now content to settle for moderately clean, but extremely wet clothes, constituency of one or not.

Subsequent launderings have led me to the conclusion that the problem with the esclusione centrifuga has nothing to do with the size of the load or whether the button is pushed in or not. The problem is that it doesn’t work properly, unless your ‘centrifuge’ is expanded to include motion along the lines of a ferris wheel, rather than just those spinning carnival rides where everyone is pressed against the wall and someone always, always pukes.

I should count my blessings, though. Despite the rain, there are still some suckers trying to dry their laundry outside. Ha.

Because I’ve had to re-imagine this enterprise somewhat, I’ve decided on instituting a new, more restrictive laundry regime. Until I come home, I am washing socks, underwear, and undershirts. And that’s it. Depending on where you fall on the political spectrum, you should think of it as either (left) a kind of ‘head start’ program for laundry where only the neediest receive attention because the better-off are able to fend for themselves, in the hope of creating a more just and equitable society or (right) the ultimate in limited governance – only services absolutely necessary for the preservation of a baseline order are provided by the state (me) and everything else is taken care of by the market.

A piccolo postscript

So… How to say this… Hrm. La esclusione centrifuga funziona sì! I don’t know how I managed to make it not work before, but as of around six, I am now the proud owner of some extremely wet socks and undershirts and some only moderately wet boxers. Part of the problem previously was that the washing machine includes the centrifuge when the button is pushed out, not pushed in as I had intuited. Why it didn’t go the first time I tried it with the button out instead of in, the world may never know.