Now I Understand How the Iraqis Feel
Warning: May contain flippant treatment of serious subject

my sister is home for the holidays - this is an undebatably good fact, one of which i am glad. more people under the age of 30 in my life can only be a good thing and to be fair, my sister is probably better than just "a good thing" implies. however, in current family calculus the equation reads as follows:

[(Driver's Licenses x 4 / 4 persons) - (3 cars / 4 drivers)] x 4 busy schedules = 1 person transportationless

now this is not entirely accurate, as the person left out in the cold, so to speak, does not have to walk everywhere. they are merely dependent on someone else for their transportation needs. now bring to bear the pertinent corollary principles, as elaborated in Book IV of The Republic:

SOCRATES: What is the virtue (arete) of a Thing? Is it not the fulfillment of the purpose of the Thing?
GLAUCON: Yes, it is.
SOCRATES: And what, then, is the purpose of a Thing? Is it not to be used?
GLAUCON: Yes, it is.
SOCRATES: Then we can say that the Thing which is useful is the Thing which is used for its purpose, which is to be used.
GLAUCON: But Socrates, what of the Thing that may be used in the future yet is not being used at present? Is it not also useful?
SOCRATES: I must concede that you are correct, Glaucon. Truly, cavorting with small boys has sharpened your mind as well as your desire for little children.

this style of argumentation, while elaborate and charmingly baroque is somewhat opaque, so i'll summarize:

Cars are only useful when they are being used AND/OR available to be used.

also,

(A) a car in a parking lot is not available to be used
(B) if i drive myself to work i will have to leave the car in the parking lot
(C) my job is closest to home and also starts just late enough that my sister can wake up in time to drive me

now stir, shake, and let stand 3 hours. what you've got is a logical argument so good that anyone hearing it has only two choices: agree or have their head blow up. i see the beautiful simplicity of this argument. it's something that Plato would have arrived at eventually if he hadn't been so busy having little fake debates in his head between nominally existant old men who wore loose fitting clothes and liked little boys. i appreciate the argument in an aesthetic sense as well as a mathematical sense. the take home message, for those of you who skimmed my summary of the argumentation is this:

my sister is going to drive me to work tomorrow morning, effectively stranding me in the office / marooning me on Misfit Island from frigid 8 in the AM until tepid 4:30 in the PM with no prayer of escape, no stay of sentence and no hope of parole.

and despite my ability to remain superficially philosophical about the whole episode, i cannot help but feel some small seed of resentment sending forth its parasitic roots into the soft flesh of my heart. i do not want to be driven to work. i do not want to be stuck there until someone comes to pick me up. i do not want to leave work in the middle of the day, but i want to be able to leave work in the middle of the day.

when it comes down to it, it's a dependence thing: i do not want to be dependent on my sister. i can see all of the reasons why it makes perfect sense. i can expound on them at length. i can go along with it. but, no matter what else i do, i can't make myself like it.

that is, i think, the root of 90% [Note: arbitrarily assigned percentage] of the problem we're encountering with the Iraqis who hated Saddam but now dislike/resent the coalition and want to see us gone. for them, it was nice to have us there for the holidays (we're a good guest when we're not shooting your unarmed friends or family members out of confusion or anger). but when it comes down to brass tacks, everyone knows that it's the CPA (my sister) that drives the car every day, leaving the Iraqis (me) stuck at work with half a Subway sandwich chilling in the fridge and a little seed of resentment shooting out roots in their heart. they (me) are grateful to (like) us (my sister) but find that dependence feels a little too much like a collar or a leash. they (me) like what the CPA (my sister) brings to the table, but are secretly nervous that we (my sister) are going to set up shop and make their (my) lives either no better or worse (moderately inconvenient). they (you) are also probably tired of our (my) tendency to stretch a metaphor to the breaking point (and employ excessive parentheticals). that's why they (I) are (am) going to stop blogging, grab themselves (myself) a ham sandwich and go to bed.