Hats 3, Me 1

GONE: the Chicago Fire hat that was dark blue at purchase but then sat in the back of the car that got totaled last summer so long that about half of it faded to the kind of purple that girls used to decorate their rooms when they were six. a hat that made me look so bad but feel so good. bought to keep me from freezing to death at an outdoor playoff game where i almost caught Ante Razov's jersey as he threw it into the stands but some fat slob snatched it away from me. i can't claim to understand the madness that made me actually want a shirt worn by Ante Razov. i might have died if not for this hat. sentimental favorite.

GONE: plain blue wool knit hat bought at Walgreen's for $2.35 during the winter of aught two that kept me warm through many sweaty broomball games. useful for outdoor exercise and handy in a pinch. easily stuffed into a pocket. good for that Jersey dock-worker look, particularly with boots. lunch pail kind of performer. blue-collar special.

GONE: the University of Chicago hat that was new at the end of the season last year and has therefore not yet been washed and is a little too tight and as a result rubs my forehead a little bit raw. endeared itself to me by keeping my head a toasty 98.6 under even the most adverse conditions while also looking sharp in a faux-athletic sort of way. an underappreciated gift that never got a chance to shine.

TOLERATED BUT NEVER ACCEPTED: the plain grey hat of unknown composition dug out of the bottom of the closet this morning that barely fits over my noggin. ugly, uncomfortable AND too thin. keeps the head warm. sort of.