today we have an historic first here on the island. today marks my first (and possibly last ever) retraction/correction. i made an extravagant claim earlier today that my girlfriend was "jealous of a 34 year old lesbian". my apologies to all of you, for misrepresenting the situation. to set the record straight: my girlfriend is "weirded out and wary" of the 34 year old lesbian who, she still maintains, has a crush on me.

also: further internet research reveals that THÖRLOs are serious socks. my socks do not play.