If you do not want to read about sports then I suggest you stop reading right here.

seriously, this is going to be about sports, specifically the NBA. if that doesn't interest you, scroll down and read something else.

i am an unabashed partisan of the Indiana Pacers and cannot stand the New York Knicks. i have nothing but spite for the players, the fans and the franchise. i hate them all. if there were a Basketball Axis of Evil, the Knicks would be in it. the Knicks are just that evil. there are only a few teams in all of sports whose defeats will always put a smile on my face no matter the situation, and the Knicks are enshrined on that list. now you might think that as a guy who neither played basketball and nor payed significant attention to professional sports before 1999 i might have escaped this particular piece of the Indiana Sports Canon. well, you were wrong. i have heard people in and around Indy reminiscing about how they miss the old Indiana - NY rivalry and frankly, i don't know what they're talking about. i hope that Isaiah Thomas runs their damn franchise into the ground. all of which brings me laboriously to what i would really like to talk about, which is this: i am sick and f*cking tired of the Al Harrington to New York trade story.

i first heard this preposterous rumor in a Ralph Wiley column in which he claimed (far far down towards the bottom) that Harringon was "agitating" for a trade to New York based on the fact that Harrington said that he would "like to play in New York" while warming up before the Pacers game in MSG.

Ralph Wiley: Up yours. Even with new management, the Knicks still suck.

Later, it was Peter Vecsey who added some grist of his own to the rumor mill. Vecsey claims that "sources" say Big Al is unhappy and wants a trade to somewhere, "preferably New York," where he could get a more significant role.

Peter Vecsey: Up yours too. You and your team can kiss my ass.

the wild speculation didn't stop at Harrington, either. Wiley went on to theorize that Artest wanted to be traded to New York as well. others have stated (1) that Donnie Walsh is interested in quitting his job with the Pacers (the one he is grooming Larry Bird to do) and moving to New York to be Isaiah's #2 man and (2) Harrington threatened to fire his agent if he couldn't engineer a trade (to NY). these rumors have been denied and denied again by someone who works closely with the Pacers, but apparently they are still persistent enough that the local paper ran an article for the sole purpose of giving Al a chance to explicitly deny any interest in a trade, which he dutifully did.

and why would he be interested? unless he is a complete idiot he'd gladly live away from home for a chance to play on a team that wins and has a shot at winning a championship, rather than play a big role close to home on a team that loses more often than not. and he wants a significant role? it's hard to get a much more significant role on a team than 3rd in minutes and points, even if you don't start.

besides, even if Harrington did want to be traded (and this is a point which I will repeat gleefully) there isn't a thing the Knicks could give us in return for him. not a thing. New York: we do not want your Moochie Norris, Othella Harrington, Shan(d)on Anderson or Bruno Sundov (whom we already had and got rid of). we do not even want your Dikembe Mutumbo, Stephon Marbury, Keith Van Horn or Allan Houston. we do not want your crappy players and do not need your good ones.

[interesting note for those of you who remember [redacted] - it wasn't his stink, his appalling taste in music, the volume of his music, his retarded mannerisms or his inviting drug dealers he met at 3 AM in Cabrini Green into the dorm that first turned me against Vik. in fact, although i may not have been fully aware of it at the time, i can definitively say while re-writing history... er, in restrospect that it was Vik's love for John Starks (of all people!) that first soured me on Proposition Vik. the other stuff was just icing on the cake.]

what i hate so much about this retarded trade rumor isn't so much that it exists. [blah blah blah, kowtow in the direction of the inevitability of rumor] i have no beef with teams, fans, or columnists saying to themselves "Boy, Al Harrington is pretty good at basketball. It sure would be nice to have him on our team." but it pisses me off that for some people the assumption is that because Harrington's home is near NY and he would be good on the Knicks therefore he MUST want to be traded to New York and is ready to fire his agent if it doesn't happen. you know what i have to say about that? this: up yours. i know this may come as a shock to you, Ralph Wiley, Peter Vecsey, Spike Lee, et al., but just because YOU want something to happen doesn't mean that everyone else does.

plus, the Knicks suck.