Grad Student II: The Revenge!

just when you though it was safe to go back to class...

it was so close. so very close. i had just about convinced myself that the process of attrition had, in eliminating half of my Latin class at the semester break, gotten rid of all of my least favorite characters, leaving only the quiet and the tolerably doofy behind. last night i was pretty sure i'd gotten away with it and sat in class silently gloating at my victory over fate / my enemies / the world. but alas, my jubilation was short-lived when, to my dismay, in walked Mike a.k.a The Annoying Graduate Student.

once i was having a spirited discussion with him and when i told him that i couldn't hear what he just said and asked him to repeat it he replied in an unjustifiably superior tone "You heard what I said." to which i responded, "No, I didn't. Would you please repeat it?" and he only stared at me. i wish i could say that this somehow explains why he annoys me so much, but i have to admit that i pretty much couldn't stand him long before he started to act like a weiner and began to justify my hate. i can give you some examples of his stupidity but i am at a complete loss to justify my unreasoning dislike for the red-haired boner who plauges me from 6:30 to 8:15 on Tuesday and Thursday nights. perhaps if you could see him in action you would understand...

Scene: Latin Class, the evening of January 22
Dramatis Personae: Professor, Mike, Me

[curtain rises]

Professor: [launching in mid lecture]
... you see, that is an excellent example of dactylic hexameter. this is the meter that Virgil used in the Aeneid. what you've got to understand about Roman poetry is that... yes, Mike?
Me: [aside]
oh dear God, here we go again.
Mike: [raising a meaty hand in the air]
excuse me, but do you know of a good monograph about the tempo of Latin poetry that i could peruse?
Professor:
i think you you meant meter, not tempo.
Mike:
meter. that's what i said.
Me: [aside]
no it's not, you boner.
Mike:
so, are you aware of any monographs on the subject?
Professor:
i am sure that if you get on the internet and do some searching you could find something.
Mike: [pumping his fist in the air and doing his best Howard Dean impression]
I AM A HUGE BONER AND EVERYONE KNOWS IT! YEEEAAARRGH!

so in the end, it turns out that my silent celebration was somewhat premature. and if you happen to hear on the news about a graduate student being stabbed in the face in central Indiana, you'll know why.