dear creepy greying mustachioed bald guy,

please do not read my mind while I am in line at subway. you probably think it is funny to order exactly what I am thinking that I will order, before I can order it. do not think that the subtle changes in your order (a different kind of cheese, for example) are fooling me. they are not. I am on to you. and although you probably find yourself to be funny, in reality you are making me very uncomfortable. stop. please. thank you.

-j