If you were wondering what pipe dream I've been mulling over most recently, it's The Mongol Rally. After hearing a friend/co-worker of Dirtina's talking about his plan to join in the rally after he finishes taking the bar exam (July 2006), I was immediately captivated with the idea of driving a hunk of tin with a sub-1000cc engine from London to Ulaan Bataar. Aught-six seemed a bit early for me, and I'm already going to Germany for a small and obscure soccer tournament next summer. The summer of '07 would give me enough time to prepare myself for the rigors of the journey, and also to raise the necessary money for the trip, which requires donating at least $2000 to charity on top of visa fees, money for bribes, buying and outfitting the chariot of choice, et c. After deciding when to enter the race, the next important decision was whom to take along on the grand voyage of discovery. I considered using this space to advertise for a co-pilot, but in keeping with the spirit of adventure apropos of the rally I decided to decide the question by fiat.

After carefully considering the pros and cons of various potential drivers, I have decreed that A.F. Hagan is going to be participating in the Mongol Rally with me, starting in July of 2007. On paper, he's a perfect choice:

*He's modestly sized.
This is a very important criteria for a partner, since a car with fewer than 1000cc's of go is liable to be a fairly small machine to begin with. Being small and light is key, as he will easily fit inside the car and will be light enough not to weigh us down unreasonably. Also, hopefully this will mean that he does not eat or drink too much.

*He was an Eagle Scout.
I'm unsure whether or not they car repair in scouts. But I'm sure that some of his scouting skills will come in handy if we would ever have to weave a fan belt out of prairie grass. Plus, he almost certainly has the kind of stick-to-it-iveness that only an 8000 mile road rally requires.

*He is good at languages.
The likelihood that he or I will know any of the languages in the countries through which we pass (after England, of course) is relatively small, unless I learn German between now and two years from now. But if anyone could pick up enough pidgin Russian, Persian, Uzbek, or Mongol to bribe a local policeman in under 25 minutes, it would definitely be Mr. Hagan.

*He will have just finished the bar exam in July of Oh-Seven.
This will mean that he is in a particularly adventurous (reckless) mood, which is good.

*He is a very good cyclist.
Given how small and light the car is, even if the engine fails then I expect we could just hook him up to a makeshift set of pedals and he could pedal our car all the way to Mongolia.

So, Andrew, congratulations. You've been chosen to be my partner in the adventure of a lifetime. Good luck!