i had been considering doing this for a while, but frankly, held off because 9 out of 10 results from the search referred directly or indirectly to this book and its author. and while the "i've been living a big lie, i'm actually a homosexual minister" joke might have had some traction, then again it might not have. but after getting some inspiration (read: bored) i did some digging and found this:

sure, he may be waaaaay smarter than me. but trust me, i am way less fuzzy and out of focus than this guy. sure, maybe i didn't know that suspended sediments influence the foraging abilities of larval fish preying on zooplankton and that turbidity from these sediments differentially affects survival and growth of juveniles fishes typically found in reservoirs. but i instead i could tell you about how ethnic tension (primarily between Berbers and Arabs) and the creation of a bureaucratic class in the 9th and 10th centuries led to the weakening of the caliphate of Córdoba and its eventual replacement with the muluk al-tawa'if, or "party kings". and isn't that much more interesting (and relevant!) in the big picture?

what an awesome dude. it's too bad there isn't more info there, but i think the look on his face in the picture really says it all. boy i wish i could be more like this guy but i guess i just don't love animals and the outdoors enough. also, i would like to think that i don't look like jerk (ie, this guy).

apparently, rather than spending his money on finishing his website, Mr. Miner broke the bank getting himself a doofy haircut. good decision, you jerk. now if for some reason i wanted this domain name, it's already been taken & tainted by a guy who goes to the barber and asks for "a haircut that you can really set your watch to." dammit.

i cannot understand a word of this, but after carefully perusing it seems that at least one Frenchman thinks that "je suis le concepteur de l'ATARI 800." i have no idea what this means, but curiously i did in fact own an ATARI 800 a long long time ago. or maybe it was a 7800. i honestly can't remember. at first, all i had to play was Asteroids which was a pretty awesome game. but after Rampage showed up i don't think i played Asteroids more than once or twice. who wants to shoot at rocks in space when you can turn into a giant man-eating lizard who smashes buildings and jumps on tanks? je suis le lézard géant qui mange des hommes.

unrelated postscript(s):

this is pretty fun, but made me feel like a huge dork for two distinct but very valid reasons. check it out.

also, i completely flunked this test. the take-home lesson here is, if you are planning on murdering me (serially) then i suggest dressing up like a software designer. i will never, ever see you coming.