do you love John Stamos? check out (one of) John Stamos's newest project(s). i am not sure what this portends. does this mean that the end of civilization/the world/postmodernity as we know it is near? or does this just mean that B-list celebrities can poke fun at themselves as well as the next guy?

not looking so good these days: Rich from OSCO
i saw you browsing through the CD's at the music store while shopping for my dad's birthday gift on Saturday. you look much balder and more disoriented than i remember you looking back in 1998. or was it 1997? '97, i think. anyway, back then i could never meet your eye because you had a lazy eye that really freaked me out. i am sorry. i am also sorry that you seem to have gone so far downhill. you always had something mean to say about Bill (the owner who sat in his office in the back and spied on us via cameras hidden in discrete black plastic bubbles in the ceiling) and i can appreciate that. but what happened to you? you've really let yourself go, man.

you always used to call me "young Jeffrey" which i never liked. but i never really asked you to stop, i just tried to look uncomfortable when you did it. so i guess i can't blame you, even if i do think that deliberately making 16 year olds uncomfortable is sort of childish. i wonder if you still love Morphine as much as you did in the late 90's. that's the band, not the drug, although you might like that too. well, whatever has happened to you in the interim, i sure hope that you didn't recognize me at the store, because i wouldn't want you to think that i was avoiding you or ignoring you. which i was.