ESPN was running an (idiotic) countdown of the '36 Moments of Monday Night Football' or some crap during my dinner. Aside from leading me to speculate how much money I would pay for the privilege of smacking Deion Sanders in the face with a two by four (at least $2), it featured the following segment, which I believe was the #10 moment of Monday Night Football:

Some guy: "Blah blah blah, Joe Theismann, yammer yammer, great quarterback, yak yak yak."

This is followed by three different clips of Lawrence Taylor eating Theismann's leg for breakfast. Each clip is played about three times, interspersed with some talking heads saying something I missed while trying to pull from the oven the Seafood Crab Cakes from Trader Joe's one of the former roommates left in the freezer after moving out.

Other guy (presumably the producer of MNF at the time): "As soon as we went to commercial, I says to him, I says - 'Let's not show that again.'"

Follow this with four more loops of the leg-crushing injury and end with the commentary of one guy who claimed that you could "see the blood coming through [Theismann's] sock."

There might have been more to the segment, but by this point I'd finished the crab cakes and zoned out, wondering whether or not Trader Joe's Non-Seafood Crab Cakes exist. And if they do, what exactly might they be...?