it's a slow day in the office today but the day before yesterday was high drama on the island. those of you already on the island know what i'm talking about, but for those of you who don't, this is probably the most exciting thing to happen here since i arrived.

apparently, some woman of short temper and stentorian voice had been calling the office repeatedly, demanding to be helped (and failing that, to speak to the boss). to be fair, it's entirely possible that this woman could never have been served successfully. but rather than try and deal with the problem orders came down from on high giving the following instructions:

(1). if the woman calls and identifies herself, hang up on her. no hesitation.
(2). if the woman shows up in the office, press the security button that calls 911. no questions asked.

the first part wasn't such a big deal. it's not like i wanted to talk to her anyway. the second, however was somewhat problematic. what was i supposed to do in between the time when i pressed the button and the police arrived? talk to the woman? ask her to leave? hide? attempt to subdue her? and what if she came in and was perfectly reasonable? how would i explain it to the police if and when they showed up?

i suppose i could just have disobeyed. then again, i heard about the reaming out that the secretary got just for talking to the irritable woman.

the conversation was going something like this: "no, the boss isn't in ... i don't know when she'll be back ... sorry, i can't tell you that ... no ... no ... please stop calling here ...", when the boss lady realized who the secretary was talking to on the phone. She ripped it off of the secretary's shoulder, yelled "DON'T YOU CALL HERE ANYMORE!!!" into the phone, slammed it down and proceeded to give the secretary a very serious talking to.

but like most of the excitement on the island, the situation ended up a total let-down. the woman never showed. and i guess she took the hint and stopped calling. all the tension and anticipation in the office evaporated slowly and completely.

but as i drove home, i couldn't shake the feeling that something hadn't gone exactly right. shouldn't we have tried help her? even a little bit?


Customers? What customers?